I apologize for my lack of posts the past few days, I must get better at making the time. I just finished my last assignments for my class and have my last night for this class Monday. I’ll have a week of and then start a class that is bound to make me cry and swear. Micro Economics, ARGH.
Between, school, home, trying to work out, and crazy work, sometimes I can’t figure out what direction I’m going. On the upside, I am noticing how differently I deal with stress and uncertainty. Last week I found out the company I work for would again be doing more large layoffs. All of my current group has been here during the past rounds of layoffs and we all know how emotional it is during the waiting period. Each day brings new news or gossip, most of is never really uplifting. The nervousness comes not because I wouldn’t be able to find another job if I was laid off, rather that I really enjoy what I’m doing right now and the team I work in. If we aren’t laid off, we will all know people that are. If feels like so much of my life is falling into place and I’m not ready for it to be shaken up again. But the bottom line is, God has always helped me find my way, I always end up where I belong. I told Paul the other day, I’m like a cat, I always land on my feet.
My weight has been fluctuating, but I have a feeling tomorrow mornings weight in will be great. I’m doing great with my BUD. I totally am in love with this device. I’m into a great rhythm with food . It’s amazingly more natural for me now then it has ever been before. It’s easier to make good choices and I find myself craving bad foods way less. I’m LOVING salad, seriously, if I had a choice between a good burger and a good salad . . 100% salad! What’s hard when we go out to certain restaurants. We went to Applebee’s this week, while they boast about a new menu of under 500 calories meals, but it’s all seafood. If it swims in the sea, I don’t eat it. Well except for can albacore tuna fish, but I don’t think that counts. So instead I got something that listed the weight watchers points and it was great. I did have a passing thought of boneless buffalo fried chicken, but it quickly passed. Once my dinner got there, any thought of any other food was totally gone. I did sneak a few of Hannah’s fries, but that’s okay, a few fries aren’t bad, it’s a whole basket of fries that do you in.
Daily choices are easier as well. Instead of feeling “left out” when I make good choices, I feel proud, happy and fulfilled with the choices I do make. I drink less pop, way more water and eat vegetables daily. I did have a craving for cakey sweetness last night, so I made low-fat brownies. Instead of making them pan style which would be 1/18 for 140 calories (2520 for the pan) I put them into the mini cupcake pan and made 44 little guys. This means I how have 57 calorie bites. I struggle with portions when things are in a big pan, this way, my portions are controlled. I can take two of them for 114 calories and feel like I splurged. In a pan, I would keep cutting of little chunks and never feel like I got enough, it’s all those mind tricks J.
With all the craziness I had taken off Friday for a relaxing day with Paul, but decided I needed a mental health day and took tomorrow off too. Paul said he would drop Belle off so I get to sleep late in my nice warm bed! That means a 4 day week and a break from any “work” worries. I finished my last bit of homework. A total mental free weekend!
Unstoppable “mentally freed” Mariah
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