Honestly, why can’t it be the other way around? At some point every day I struggle with making the “healthy” choice. This Sunday it was choosing to work out. I had a mini meltdown on the way to the gym. I’m hitting a plateau with my weight and it’s driven me flippen batty. It’s so frustrating because I’m seemingly making all the healthy choices, drinking more water and less pop, making good food decisions, working out and journaling my food. Yet my lovely number on the wii board isn’t going down. My frustration is that I’m not to that point of loving exercise or loving all healthy choices I make. Yes, I’m glad I make them and I know they are the right choices, but they are still un-natural and somewhat foreign to me. So Sunday morning, I’m crying, yes crying in the car because I’m mad. I’m mad that it’s so darn hard. I’m mad that I’m giving up time and things I love and not seeing results. For a moment I just wanted to be fat and happy. But when I thought about it, fat and happy isn’t what I was or am. I’m not happy being overweight knowing I’m putting my health at risk and shortening my life. I’m not happy that I change this and it took me so long to get real about weight issues. My husband worked thru my melt down with me. This whole working thru your emotions and talking them out, writing them, it’s new to me. It works, but it’s hard. It’s being vulnerable, it’s being honest with not only all of you, but honest with myself as well. For years I fooled myself into thinking that even with my weight I was healthy. I have guilt and feel ashamed but I know I can move forward and make it different. I know if I stick with it, my lovely wii board will show me the results I so desire. Better than those magic numbers is the fact I’m giving myself and my family the gift of life. I’ll be here to see my daughter get married and have children. I’ll be able to grow old with my best friend and look back at our wonderful life together.
Unstoppable Wii board hater Mariah
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