Scattered

That in one word sums up how I'm feeling today . . . . scattered.  I'm feeling great about my jogging interval training, stuck and angry with my weight loss.  Excited about the 5K on Monday, nervous and excited to meet my fellow members of the PriorFatPack.  Shocked that Trinona is now 18 days away and feel totally unnerved! 18 days, holy crap!!!!!!!! Yeah, I'm a whole basket full of emotions today.

The scale is driving me nuts, I can't seem to get out of the 250's no matter what I try.  I have my appointment with the nutritionist/dietician tomorrow.  I'm really unsure of what to expect.  I'm worried that what they share with me won't fit into my lifestyle.  I really want to have a balanced approach that includes moderation.  I know it will be critical for me to share my expectations and desires, but am worried my expectations are holding my weight loss back.  One thing I'm learning about myself is I fear the unknown.  I have no idea what to expect or what will come out of it.  I'm scared they will judge me for being overweight, I'm scared they will judge me for my food choices.  I'm afraid of them wondering why it took me so long to realize I needed to change.  I'm worried I won't be able or willing to make the changes they recommend.  I need to take a deep breath and take a step back to put it in perspective.  

1.      Hooray for me for having the courage to take this step.

2.      I can set boundaries for the appointment and let them know my feelings.

3.      I'm more capable of more than I give myself credit for.

4.      I really don't like what they have to say, I can see someone else, take another approach, one size does not have to fit all.  

Okay, that feels way better now.  I’m still anxious but feel like I’ve given myself some tools to help me be open and willing to check this out. 

I purchased a new bike this weekend and I'm in LOVE.  I miss Barney, but he's been adopted by a wonderful person whom I know will provide him a loving and welcoming home.  I ended up falling head over heels for an unexpected bike at REI.  It didn't "look" like a bike I would love, but once I got on it, I was sold.  REI was amazing when I went.  Jim from the bike area quickly became my BFF and treated me with such respect and wanted to make sure I got the best bike in my price range.  He wanted to make sure it was the right fit and would meet my needs without pressuring me to spend more then what I was comfortable with.  I took my new bike out for a ride Sunday and was AMAZED at the speed, at times Paul and I got to over 20 miles per hour and I was comfortably regularly biking at over 12 miles per hour.  This means, with practice I should easily be able to be under 1 hour for my bike time in the Tri's.  Now I'm looking for a name and need YOUR help.  Please help me come up with a good name for the new member of my family :)

Unstoppable “nameless new bike owner” Mariah