I’m back in school again after a break from my last class. Feels like I’m getting back into the swing of things. I always have gitters when starting a new class. Meeting new people, learning something new, will I like the teacher . . . seriously I’ve done this how many times before and yet I feel sick to my stomach each time. I guess it doesn’t help that it’s not my favorite subject. Micro Economics . . . so overrated. Thank goodness my little brother Scott is one of my life lines just like on Who wants to be a Millionaire. I got all of my school information printed off, put nicely in my folder, have my book ready, picked out my clothing before and am set to go. If only there was a way to get my emotions prepared. Every time I start a new class I also panic how I can balance everything. Home, school, work, training, eating healthy etc.
My Wii board was nicer to me today, I was down .7 from yesterday. I’m debating if I should weigh in tomorrow or if I could give it a break. I’m still sore from jogging two days in a row. I guess you could say that was one bonus of starting class tonight. No working out!!!! See Micro Econ can have it’s benefits.
Paul and I have been on this journey together. While in some ways it’s incredibly rewarding, however in other ways it presents unique challenges. For example we never seem to be in the same mood or the same place at the same time. One of us is gun-ho and the other is totally dragging. One has a great scale day, the other gains 2 lb. It helps that we don’t often hit the lows together; I really miss hitting the highs together. Another challenge is both of us feel so different from who we were when we started this journey. It scares me to think of losing each other on the way. Granted I will say, in so many ways Paul and I have been to Hell and back. I figured if we can work thru losing our son, we can work thru anything. What can be harder than that right? I’m also going to be very vulnerable and honest with the fact that Paul is at his lowest weight since I’ve known him and I’m way larger then when we first met. As a wife, I find it difficult to be larger than my husband. While he reminds me that he loves me and he does show me, I asked him the other day to remind me a little more often. Needy I know, but at the same time I’m finding myself feeling insecure right now. I know I need to get past this and explore those feelings more, but I’m proud the fact I’m willing to share it and admit how I feel.
Work has been crazy busy and you can tell the layoffs and changes are really getting to people. I’m pondering ideas on how to switch the workday blues for me and my team to sunshine superstars. I refuse to have a bad or negative day tmrw. Two days in a row is one too many.
Unstoppable “not loving econ” Mariah
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