Lunch Bag, oh Lunch Bag, I miss you!

As I left the house this morning I had the odd feeling I was missing something.  I checked my laptop bag, wallet . . check, work badge . . . check, laptop . . . check, cell phone . . . check, hummm why do I feel like I’m forgetting something.  I didn’t sleep well last night so I was guessing I was just a little crazy and tired.  I got to work and start getting excited thinking about my nummy veggie eggs and chicken sausage.  Lunch bag . . No check, son of a Bautch!  It’s on the chair at home.  Thankfully I work in a building with a cafeteria, but sadly they don’t have a wide variety healthy snacks.  I can usually get by fairly okay with meals by making good choices.  The hard part is making those good choices.  Breakfast was easy, egg white omelet with ham and cheese.  Lunch, not so easy.  The pasta looked wonderful, the pizza like heaven, the burgers smelled great . . but I settled on a chicken wrap with veggie sticks.  I even asked them to include baby spinach in my wrap, it was delish!  YUPPIE for good choices.  Now if I could only find those healthy snacks.  The darn mini chocolate bars on my neighbors desk look so naughty and happy.  They call to me, eat me, eat me.  Thank goodness there aren’t any almond joys in there or I just don’t think I have the power to say no today.

Paul and I walked/jogged last night.  We made it 2 miles with relatively minor pain.  The best part was being able to talk to him even when we were slowly jogging.  I ran longer that I have before and I felt great.  I also discovered something new yesterday afternoon.  As I was packing up my bag, I was thinking of all the excuses I could to get out of exercising last night.  I was feeling the same apprehension and nervousness that I do anytime I workout.  Since I’m now becoming aware of how much my emotions play into my weight and choices I began to analyze those feelings.  Turns out, I’m terrified of failing!  That’s what I was afraid of, that’s why I historically would always choose not to work out.  If I didn’t work out, in my mind, I didn’t fail.  So as my husband tells me, I redefined my outlook on success.  Last night success wasn’t that I ran at a specific pace or distance.  It was the fact that I got outside and made time to work out to make myself healthy.  That is a HUGE success!  As soon as I removed the fear of failing I was able to move forward.  I felt so darn free and lighter.  I should have weighed myself then J   So now I know when that feeling of not wanting to work out due to fear of failing, I just need to remind myself what failure is and what success is.  I define it, no one else has to define it for me. 

If you are keeping track, check off drinking my 100 oz for a second day, food journaling for a second day and one work out for the week.  I’m well on the way to meeting my goals for the week.

Unstoppable Lunch Bagless Mariah